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:iconerinwolf1997: More from Erinwolf1997


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Poetry and Stories by Bakugan5Ds

poetry by RosaEnora


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Submitted on
November 18, 2013
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Sta.sh Writer
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86
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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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Here I sit in confusion,
cutting up my Christmas list,
so tired, and wishing
I could do one thing right.
I'm folding the paper,
trying so hard,
but in my lap are a thousand 
failed paper stars.

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:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Student Writer
Nice, but the repetition of "paper" doesn't really strengthen the piece due to its brevity, I find.
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:iconerinwolf1997:
Erinwolf1997 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the feedback, I see what you mean :)
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:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome :3
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:iconasterlia:
Asterlia Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Student General Artist
I like how the words sound together. They don't quite rhyme, but they have a lovely rhythm to them that gives this a musical sort of feel. :D
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